Greetings. You have stepped in the online abode of (MalcolmWayne), which houses his mindless musings and lovely rantings.
You're obviously permitted to have a look around, but of course, itchy fingers aren't entertained - so don't take what's not yours. ;)

9 years friend.
Saturday, December 26, 2009 @ 2:46 PM











Thoughts of mine.
Thursday, October 1, 2009 @ 5:39 PM

It already has been more than a year since the start of this wonderful relationship. I really enjoyed the times, even though limited, we had together. We messaged, we talked and we laughed together. The most powerful memory being the time, you laid your head on my shoulders and watched the film together. It may not have been much but meant a whole lot to me. Your soft hair I felt so long ago still stays in the deepest part of my head untouched and clear. How I ache to make this happen.

There are complications now and I knew from the start this wasn’t going to be an easy ride. I knew that some things will happen that will be out of my hands and that the final decision will always be in your palms. So hear me out for a little bit will you?

Ultimately, I feel betrayed by a certain individual owing to the fact that the person has gone behind my back to jeopardize everything I worked for. First up, I‘m unaware of what was said about me which will most probably be negative comments. Secondly, you had countless of opportunities to take away the regret you’re feeling so it really makes no sense for you to do such a thing. Last and most importantly, I really don’t want to see her hurt again so this time round so I’m going to step up and take a stand.

But now in the midst of the O's, I know it is not the right time to be dealing with things of such and hopefully we can at least come to a compromise. This is especially when I want the best for the both of us.

I’m not asking you to give me a chance because we both given the chances for each other. Similarly I’m not asking you to choose a side now. What I ask is simple and that is, I really want you to follow where your heart goes and make that decision when the time is right. And when that decision is made I want that smile to be still on your face instead of tears and regret. Additionally on what was being said about me, I know you trust me and I am very sure that most of the things said are not justified to be called facts.

All in all, I already gone this far and I have no regrets no matter the choice you make. I’ve given it my all and my loyalty has always stayed by your side. A good mentor of mine once said that love is a choice and that romance is the feeling involved. I choose you and my love will not waver.

I’m going to be positive, smile and work really hard for my Os. You should too so don’t let this become the source of your problems. If you need me, I’m always here. Fingers crossed and I’ll hold on and breathe.

Love you.

Hairstyles.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009 @ 4:59 PM


Maybe I am going to cut this hair. But first, I am adding it to the list.

What Hurts the Most
@ 12:33 PM

"What Hurts The Most"
Rascal Flatts

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doing It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

Finding the lost.
Monday, September 28, 2009 @ 5:19 PM

If you decide to leave, I won't speak.
For I am breathless without your love.

I am standing right here, with no place left to go.
When your love is gone, I am lost for all.

When you utter words of apology. I feel nothing but emptiness.
Sorry isn't a word for this, because it hurts so deep that I lost my senses.

And every time I breathe, I fall deeper in love with you.
Even forever don't seem like what it means. So I not thinking about tomorrow. Because everything is perfect now.

From that moment I first lay eyes on you. I can't help but to fall in love. You're the reason why I believed that love existed. From this moment, I will love you as long as I live. Knowing you was just enough, for you loving me in return. Your love. It's something worthy enough to cherish with my life. From the moment I step into chapters of your life, it's where my journey truely begins.

End.

Speaking for Love.
Sunday, September 27, 2009 @ 12:42 AM

For you, I will try even though I risk myself being fry
For nothingness, I'll reach
Sapping my morale like a leech
Believe in me, I'll pursue
Endeavouring, just to put a smile to you.


I am sorry that I am no Shakespears. I really wish I have the most beautiful and perfect words to say you. If I have, I would say them. And if words could explain and unwrap my feelings, I would say it all. I just wanna tell you how great you made me feel when I am with you. Knowing you was good enough.

A moment shared between us two, that's more than what I could ask for. I can never tell you how precious you are and how honoured I am to be loved by you. Win or lose, it doesn't matter. At least I tried, but something tells me this is a battle in which i die. But that won't stop me because for I will give my best. There's nothing to regret about or think back about when you tried everything and gave your all. Sometimes things isn't the way you wanted. But at least I know, I played my part and gave my all. Then its more than enough.

Right now, I am not thinking about it too much. Because I think the best way for all of us is to let nature take its course. Because I believe that if we belong together, we will always have each other.

If I have known you first, things would be so much different. But it's all fated, and I guess that's life. At this very moment when I think of you, I'm looking back. I still remembered the time when I first lay my eyes on you. And soon after, I fell in love.

Do I get a chance to make things right? All I could ever wish for is to be there for you when you need me to. When you need a shoulder to cry on, I would offer mine. When you need someone to whine to, I could. And that's more than enough. Thanks for everything.

Love, I miss you.
End.

Loving someone isn't about having them.
Monday, September 21, 2009 @ 12:46 PM


Right now,  all I need to do is to finish these few weeks of mugging. Prelims are going to be over soon. O levels too. And then I'm going to free. It's been a long five years in secondary school. I need a change cause it's really boring. Come on, I can do it. Reading at those emails you send me when I am in Netherlands. It warms my heart, like you once said. Even if I've lost faith in myself, you will still believe in me. Thanks for everything, knowing you was never a mistake.

If I have know you first, things would be so much different. I can't promise I am definitely better than him, but at least we don't have to end up in an awkward situation like this. I know, I made a mistake by falling in love with you. Causing all these problems to you. But to me, it's not a mistake but a blessing. Someone like you is worth loving. Oh well, I think letting nature take its course is still the best way. Besides that, I could use this time to know you better. So yeah.

Down this path I have been walking for a long time, I didn't even know where it was heading. Like you once said, you were afraid I might wait for nothing. And all I know is try, so long I have gave my best. Even if the outcome isn't what i wanted, it's okay. So long you're happy,  I will be to. I will still keep my promise as to be that for you. I am a guy who keeps my promise that I made, because I, myself hate empty promises. And I dont wanna give any empty promises either. I wonder if you still kept my postcard. Smile ")

Only a year ago and a few months, we were strangers. I hope this doesn't sound selfish, but the moments we shared together was the best time of mine. I am deeply proud that you find it worth while to know someone like me. Thanks for being there for me when I need someone to. I am eternally grateful. Just be happy and I will too. Knowing you was sufficient, earning your love was something I didn't expect but it's really something worth remembering.

And Love. If we are faithed to be with one another, we will always be together. And tu me manques beaucoup. French (Imissyoualot)

French : Aimer, c'est savoir dire je t'aime sans parler. 
J'aime, donc je suis. Dès que je cesse d'aimer, je cesse d'être.  

English : To love, is to know that I love you without speaking. 
I love therfore I am. When I stop loving, I stop being.

End